Late to the ADHD Game

How very ADHD of me.

Welcome to the first blog on my ADHD series. If you had told me a few years ago that I’d be writing about my own ADHD diagnosis in my thirties, I would have laughed and immediately said no way. All while probably misplacing my keys, tapping my leg, and forgetting what we were talking about. After all, I was successful enough in primary school, I built a career, I completed a graduate degree, and I now own a business. I looked organized and capable from the outside. Spoiler: I am not organized, and maybe ADHD is actually a massive contributor to my success.

Looking Back, the Signs Were There

The endless tabs open in my mind and computer.

The difficulty starting tasks I genuinely wanted to complete.

The impossibility of starting tasks I did not want to complete.

The tendency to procrastinate until a deadline created enough urgency to get me moving.

The chronic feeling that everyone else seemed to have a secret manual for adulthood that I somehow missed.

The exhaustion that came from constantly trying to stay organized, remember appointments, manage responsibilities, and appear like I had everything together.

The Assessment Journey

My journey to diagnosis began by spending time with friends who also have ADHD. If you know, you know. There’s nothing quite like the energy, humour, and beautiful chaos that happens when neurospicy people get together. Everyone’s interrupting, forgetting what they were saying, and having five conversations at once. It’s both comforting and slightly alarming. These friends, who also happen to be psychologists, started asking, “Have you ever been assessed for ADHD?” At the same time, my own therapist suggested I check out a podcast called ADHD for Smart Ass Women. She didn’t say I should get assessed, but I latched onto the timing of it all.

Naturally, I did what any self-respecting, possibly-ADHD adult would do: I hyperfocused. I dove into research about ADHD in women and late diagnosis, reading everything I could get my hands on. But even as I learned more, I kept second-guessing myself. How could I have missed this? I wasn’t the stereotypical seven-year-old boy bouncing off the walls. I’d done well enough in school, finished university, built a career. Wasn’t ADHD supposed to look different? Over a couple of months, I gained so much knowledge, coupled with doubt. Even so, what I learned resonated deeply with me. I completed screeners with colleagues, spoke of my symptoms with my therapist, and decided "hey, I think I might have ADHD".

I faced a diagnosis dilemma: Do I leave it be and accept an unofficial diagnosis? Do I talk to my doctor, risk a long waitlist for a psychiatrist, or go through a screener that I've already done, with my doctor? Or do I pay privately for an assessment, knowing there might be hurdles with medication access? Fortunately, I found a Canadian clinic specializing in ADHD assessments by nurse practitioners. I found it to be thorough, supportive, and within my budget.

What did Assessment Give Me?

Surprise Surprise. ADHD, combined type. This means inattentive and hyperactive. All that tapping and leg shaking isn't just me being restless. It's me trying to regulate myself, boost focus, and release energy.

Why did I go through with assessment? Because self-doubt is persistent. Because I needed validation, acceptance, and understanding with myself. And because, despite all the knowledge I’d gathered, I still wondered if I was exaggerating my symptoms. The assessment brought both relief and grief: relief that there was a reason for my challenges, and grief for what might have been different if I’d known sooner.

Since then, I’ve tried to approach my ADHD with curiosity, not judgment. This is a phrase I often share with my clients at Oak & Acorn Therapy, and one I’m learning to apply to myself. My brain works differently, and that’s not wrong. It’s just different. If you’re wondering about yourself, I encourage you: explore with curiosity, not judgment. There’s no “right” time to understand yourself better. Stay tuned for a future blog on ADHD symptoms in women.

ADHD Resources I have found to be helpful for me:

• ADHD for Smart Ass Women - this is a podcast hosted by Tracy Otsuka.

• ADHD 2.0 - this is a book authored by the psychiatrists Drs Edward Hallowell and John Ratey

• Frida - this is the clinic I was assessed through https://www.talkwithfrida.com/

  
  
  
  

If you’d like support on your own journey, Oak & Acorn Therapy is here to help.

Visit our website to learn more and book a free consultation

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